Certainly Uncertain

Oh! the Tugging! 

How it pulls me forward.

while leaving a piece of me behind.

like the cloth stuck on a nail
while the rest rips ahead.


The uncertainty of it all

causing chaos and havoc

in the now.
in the  mind.

Not knowing what to do.

stranded at a crossroads

uncertain which way to go.

no signal or signboards.

Breathless and heavy.

angry and of everything, wary.

suddenly it all seems scary.
trying to find my bearings.
as the needle
of the compass of my life
sways to and fro.
like
a crazy pendulum.


While I wait
for equilibrium,
I travel the corners.
The extremities.
The middle paths.
See it all.
See myself.
Feel every sinew.
blown to smithereens.
under this uncertainty,
that is always certain.


This uncertainty, so erratic.
yet paradoxically systematic.
Making you feel infinitesimally small.
and frightened.
Rips through your confident demeanour.
breaks you down.
bit by bit.


Yet,
Some other times,
it takes you on a high
from where you can see
the entire world.
the entire direction.
and you begin
to think you Know.


Then, the entire ground
and the world you saw
slip from beneath your feet
and you just keep falling.
All the direction gone.
all the Knowing gone.
in the blink of an eye.
it all vanished.


I vanished.
In between all the falling,
I became someone else.
I am somewhere else.
From where,
there is a new world.
A new direction.


Yet again,
slapping it on my face,
there is no such thing as
Being Certain.