Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The truth and choice of love

Truth has no meaning by itself. It is only when you believe something to be true that it becomes your truth. Each one of us chooses our own truth according to our own reality or perception of reality.

Choosing. Being able to choose on your own is such heady power. It is freedom but a freedom that always seems to be tied down somewhere to someone and sometimes to the choices we made in the past and also sometimes even to choices we didn't get to make, like the family, place and religion we are born into.

Choosing between entities of non-choice (entities by birth) and a choice you grew to make, like a friend is like asking me to choose between birth and life that is lived. Each has its own place but so intricately and subtly intertwined that you never know when one would affect the other.

The choices I now make are a result of where I was born and how I was brought up (not a time when I had a choice because, even if one is given a choice at that impressionable age, it is always an influenced decision. Not an independent informed decision) and as a result of the experiences (tangible and intangible) I had and how I understood and perceived them.

Love is a choice. It is said to be freedom. I consider it to be freedom when it is "true". It is my religion. But like most religions today, it is warped and misunderstood, even by its followers. and like religion, is left to the interpretation of its followers/subscribers.

But it so often seems to me that the things we claim to do out of love for a person don't come as a choice. Some loves (yes there is more than one and yet none) are just autocratic. They are anaerobic. And some is just fear wrapped in syrup.

Very few instances of love are just free fresh air that you can take in and let out whenever you want. That is a dream. An ideal. A goal. A state of nirvana one would try to achieve and also never be understood for that.

That is the dream I choose to believe. That which is an illusion, a chemical reaction, a mirage, a fallacy to others, I believe to be my truth. And i choose love each day. In its varied forms and colors and emotions. "Each day I choose the truth I believe in."