Saturday, January 16, 2010

Sub: Request for an EoI

Y.O.U.
No.1, Somewhere on Earth,
Solar System,
Milky Way Galaxy,
Awesome Universe.

Dear Y.O.U,

Context

M.E is interested in building a sustainable relationship in the calling of life and love. The policy of M.E. is unconditional passionate love,honesty, immense learning throughout, intellectualism, space to the individual for growth, fun-filled times, compassion, willingness to work through possibilities of proverbial storms together, travelling, adventure, reading, writing, growing old together.

Intent

This request for an Expression of Interest is directed at Y.O.U. who also has specialties in love and life, but more than 20 years of experience in the same. M.E. is requesting Y.O.U. to notice M.E. and how much M.E. and Y.O.U. can do together.

Background

M.E. believes there is potential for mighty ardor between the two for a very long time to come. M.E. thinks that it is high time Y.O.U. realized this and broke the silence.

A preliminary meeting will have to take place and an agreement shall be drawn soon enough.


Definitions

Unconditional Love: A powerful emotion that cannot be confined to words. Something that is of no use unless expressed. Unconditional meaning no matter what Y.O.U. does or says, M.E. promises life-long suport and togetherness and love.

Passionate: trait that will make the relationship unrestrained, alive, impulsive, impetuous, thrilling, stirring, warm, hot, sensuous.

Honesty: Virtue that implies Y.O.U and M.E. share and be open with each other.

Learning: Accumulation of anything and everything: facts, information,knowledge, wisdom, ideas, skills,thoughts and so on. Means a process that never stops till one decides we 'know' enough.

Intellectualism: this refers to accumulating, generating, debating and arguing avant-garde ideas, thoughts, ideologies or anything of any kind for that matter to keep the two parties intellectually stimulated.

Space: leaving room for another to grow and retain individuality and private arena. Thus allowing one to realize potentials and develop together.

Fun-Filled times: refers to anything that Y.O.U and M.E. will enjoy doing together (or alone, as the parties please, but preferably jointly).

Compassion: This implies that Y.O.U. and M.E. be kind and understanding with not only each other but all other creatures and try as best as possible to help others.

Willingness to work through proverbial storms: M.E. realizes that this is not going to be a cakewalk but with its ups and downs as everything else in life. But this doesn't mean that Y.O.U. and M.E. become mistrustful and suspicious of each other. But instead in times when storms are brewing in the horizon, stick together and tackle it jointly.

Travelling: this implies visting new places together and enriching their experiences.

Adventure: this refers to all activities that are new to the parties or give them an adrenaline rush. it can be adventure sports and the like or anything they want!

Reading and writing: the two parties shall be avid readers and share and discuss what has been read. And if they so wish they can write and share that too with each other and post-mortem it!

Growing old together: This implies M.E.'s commitment to maintaining a life-long relationship with Y.O.U. It basically means the parties will be together till the end of their days with love, trust, maturity, warmth, understanding and fun.


Note

The interesting party pointed out should contact at:

M.E.
No.1, Waiting Halls,
Patience Boulevard,
Excitement Street,
Planet Earth

You

Flash! Like a bright ray of light bursting through the clouds on a grey day. You appear out of nowhere from the everywhere that you are. You can be anywhere. You take me by surprise.You are in everything sublime and mundane. Moving in quietly like a predator closing in on its prey. Floating into my mind like a feather. Like the waves crashing down on the shore. Like the leaves twirling to the ground when the branches rustle in the wind with the noise of the waves in the ocean.

You are omnipresent.

You are in someone's speech. In the classroom. In books, words and pictures. You are vibrant in the colours and take a form in stones. You are in mother's story. In a melody. In the twinkle in his eyes. In the smile on her lips. In a certain voice.

You are in every heartbeart, in every breath. You are in Me.

You blow in the wind. You arrive every morning in the filtered rays of the sun that stream through my balcony, on my face as I lay in bed. You are in the silver creamy sliver of moonlight on the terrace. In the shapes created by the stars. You fall with the raindrops in all the puddles around me.And on me. I can see you on the fresh dew drops on the green blades of grass.

You enter my mind and take control of my very being. My mind and heart conspire together in a plot to bring out your inherent beauty and bathe the world in all your glory.

You are an Idea.

You are Inspiration.

Will You?

Every night before i sleep.
When i am roaming in my dreams.
In the morning when i fall out of slumber.
As i go through the daily routine of life.
Every time i enjoy something.
When i look at something beautiful.
Anything that inspires me.
(You being one major source)
I think of you.

I wish you'd notice me.
I wish you'd say something.
I wonder if you think of me.
I think I'm falling for you.
But I'm scared to tell you.
Afraid you might not feel the same.
and will move away.

I find myself happy around you.
I find my eyes searching for you
when I enter a room.
It's such a typical cliched scenario
I wonder if I'm just an actor in some script!
But I need to just look.
At your face.Your smile.
Listen to you talk.
And I know it's different.
You are.

I'm better around you.
I don't know about forever.

But when I'm waiting
for you to appear on the horizon
While i continue
with my charade of normalcy;
That seems an eternity.

Such a sense of relief rushes over me
When i hear you calling out my name
in your familiar voice and tone.
I want to know you.
I want you to know me.
I want to spend every waking moment
With You.
Enjoying the world together.
I know I shall enjoy your company.
Only more, if not as much as i do now.

So please.
Say something, will you?
Give me a sign, will you?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

She's all That!

It's silliness to restrict her to a few words
For she is a rare species.
But to the naked eye
She only seems extra-ordinary.
Takes so much more
to notice all that she is
and more.

One look. One glance.
And peals of laughter.
Hi-5s in the air.
Much to the chagrin of others
who are left wondering, always,
Who? what? where? when? why? how?

That's her and me.
Speak a dialect
that doesn't need words.
So perfect is the synchronisation!
We're a separate island.
She and Me! :)

So different she is from me.
From everyone.
Yet we're so similar.
She is someone
I'll cherish all my life.
She's a rare gem of a person.
Who holds a delicate balance
All within her, of
generosity, frankness,
mischief, intelligence,
anti-social elements,
intellect, sensitivity,
courage, silliness,
and Loyalty.

She's got it all.
She'll be there. I know.
However I need her.
Silent. or talking.
A hug. or a
"Spill it ! what's bothering you?"
She knows what to say.

and what not to.
She's beautiful too, you see.
Both inside and out.

Her courage is admirable.
Stoic that she is,
she doesn't intend wasting
life's precious moments
on tears and sorrow.
Rarely will you see her
displaying such emotion
despite her basket of problems.
She's wise too, you see!

She goes through phases.
a salwar-kameez phase, or
a jeans-n-tee phase.
or maybe even a haircut phase.
right now it's a book scenario!
She's knows how to have fun.
To keep things alive.
She'll keep the spark burning
and your good mood running.
She's fun-loving too, you see.

But don't mess with her.
Don't mistake her for delicate.
Don't try her patience too far.
Dare you not stifle her.
She wont take it lying down.
She'll be polite once, twice.
After that what will you get?
A piece of her inferno mind, that's what!
She's a firebrand too, you see!

She'll stand up for what's right.
She knows what she wants
and what she doesn't.
She's sure of herself, and
knows her way around.
She's got clarity too, you see.

She can be clever and cunning,
if need be.

She knows what's to be done.
She understands the need
of the mundane rigmaroles.
She'll go through with it
If it makes that special person
Happy.
She's a sweetheart too, you see.

All in all,
words don't suffice
when it comes to her.
they just don't.
But just know this...
She's all That!


(Soul sisters it is Vats!! :P.. Love ya!)




Vow for Vengeance

Crying and wailing
Tears of fear
Fear of the unknown
of this world
large and unknown to her
Came along a little girl
with brown dishevelled hair
hardly a few years
into this cruel world
but already abandoned
or so i am forced
to assume her state to be
or else why would anyone
with any semblance of a heart
let go of something so pure?
Allow her to fall prey
to this terrible fear
Become prey to this wretched world?

But why did he fear?
Why did i see a glint of fear in his eyes?
When this tiny lost creature
came to him with her pitiful wails
WHy didnt he pick her up?
reassure her with a touch of love?
What had he to lose?
He who was a veteran in this world?
Whose eyes had probably seen all ?

This human species that i belong to
I shamefully admit
is insecure to love
even a helpless child

Tears of shame
Tears of disgust
Tears of fear for her
pleading in my heart
to her
for forgiveness
for i who saw all this
Did nothing except feel
with a bleeding heart and curse

But i vow to avenge
Every such injustice,
Every such cruelty,
this heartlessness,
this insecurity....
This I promise......


Beginning of an End

Where are you i wonder everyday
i wonder why u changed
Why did i change?
I always wonder what u think of me
I hope and pray u don't hate me for what i did to you...
For breaking my promise(s) to you
I believe now in a higher being just
So i can have somewhere to turn to
When i want to wish you well
Everything rings a bell
Of the times we had
together, both good and bad
I dont know where to go or what to do
When i think of Us....
I thought i could forget you and love another
But my heart has become selfish with its love
It doesn't give itself away so easily
After we have drifted apart
My heart is storing away its love for the day
when we will be together
in a world where there are no worries
about anything or anyone
it is waiting...... for that other world.....
My heart cant ever come close to feeling
That way about another
The way it did about you
And it'll always be only for you
What i am trying to say is that
I am sorry and i miss you
I hope you can find it in yourself
To let me in a little bit

I know we cant be that way again
We've gone too far apart
And become too different
To be one again
But
The human heart and soul
dont understand logic
When it comes to you
and the way i feel about you
Try as i might, i cant make it see reason
It's adamant in its ways and thoughts..
Refusing to budge from memories of you...
So who am i to fight a losing battle?
What can i say except that......
I Love You...
And will always do so
Forever and ever more......

Monday, January 11, 2010

Two yet One

You came.
Lay down.
Near me.
You smiled.
Ouch!
I fell.
In love.
Over again.
like always.
your breath.
on my neck.
fingers interlocked.
legs entwined.
eyes caress.
each other.
soon enough.
lips locked.
eyes closed.
passions high.
neither beginning.
nor end.
of bodies.
love expressed.
one soul.
two persons.
together forever.
no matter.
what happens.
promises made.
not realizing.
for breaking.
brittle hearts.
they shatter.
like glass.
emotions high.
emotions low.
love's there.
but unexpressed.
so ignorant.
not listening.
part ways.
become memories.
nostalgic smiles.
painful tears.
love unwanted.
lessons learnt.
love recess.
heart longs.
better days.
in future.
left now.
is hope.
so quintessential.
for life.
to continue.
move on.
different people.
different places.
different winds.
for always.
love rises.
love returns.
love reigns.
for always.
for eternity.


Land of Fantasies

This land where
with all my imperfections,
all is ok. Perfect even.
This land where
all my dreams come true.
In all their glory, beauty and light.

This land where
I have an adrenaline rush.
Everyday.
This land which
is my happy place. Comfort zone.

This land which is nowhere
and anywhere.
This land which
cannot be found on any map.
It gets mapped everyday.
I'm the cartographer.

This land of fantasies
where beaches are empty.
Skies are blue.
Star shine at night.
And I'm with you.
Under shooting stars.

This land of fantasies
where i jump into cold ocean water
on a sultry day
and float with the waves.
Catch a large one
and crash on the shore.

This land of fantasies
where i sing my heart out
to a crowd cheering loud.
And play the drums
to the rhythm of my joy.
Play the piano
to the tune of my heart's song.

This land where
i run along green pastures
See sunrises and sunsets
Catch the orange, yellow
red and pink rays.
Feel the warmth on my body.
And tingle from head to toe.

This land where
when tired of conditioning
I'm surrounded by children
Not yet brainwashed.
Laugh, question
Happy in less
Imagine freely, wildly.
Play, sing and be free
become a child.
forget myself. Unlearn.

My land of fantasies
where i have my closest with me
high on happiness, music
and maybe something liquid too!
When the night is always young
and we dance our way
into glorious mornings.

My land of fantasies
where I exclude
Take only those special people
And a plethora of books.
Which are voraciously gobbled up.
We argue debate and fantasize.
Plan, plot, plant and play.
Rise above the petty and mundane.
To a higher place.
Forget systems and institutions
set to chain us down.
Break free. Create another domain.
That's just us.
Rejoice in freedom.

My land of fantasies
Stuff of dreams and utopia
is far away from here.
Very near You.
Helps survive this cruelty.
Gives me strength.
Fuel to change this heartlessness.
Spruces me up to work
Towards peace, hope and joy.

This land of fantasies.
It is Me.


Sounds of Silence

He lay in bed.
snoring.
from the neighbour.
Signs of a day well spent.
Sounds of distant vehicles.
whooshing to unknown destinations.
crickets singing their nocturnal melodies.
but over and above all this
is the silence of the night.
eerie to some.
peaceful to him.

Suddenly.
he hears something.
It's the voice in his head
which is suddenly so clear.
in the absence
of the clutter of daytime.
of the hullabaloo of mundaneness.

He wonders
where it comes from.
so loud and clear at night.
telling him very curious things.
about life.
himself.love.
fantasy.death.
ideologies.music.
power.god.
existence.energy.
spirits.her.

Speaking volumes
it sends him
into whorls inside.
disturbing his sleep.
where does it go
during the day?

the answer too,
lies within him.
it lays buried deep within
arising from the layers
of his maze, the mind,
when he needs it the most.
helping him bounce back
during times of distress.

this intra mind debate
he wished he could
articulate to the world
this argument within him
which appears
as silence envelops him
and slowly,
like a lullaby
sends him to sleep,
for another night.


I Don't

I don't hear you. I listen to you.
I don't see you. I watch your every move.
I don't talk to you. I'm bursting everytime you're around.
I don't hold on. But I find you always around.
I don't ignore you. Yet you'll feel neglected.
I don't cry outside. I bleed inside.
I don't feel you. I sense every time you watch me and come along.
I don't feel shy. Yet I hesitate to come to you.
I don't understand you. I clearly see through.
I don't disappear. I get eclipsed when you smile.
I don't laugh. I rejoice in you.
I don't like you. I treasure and cherish you.

Happiness

It is in the air.
in the swaying of the trees.
in the sunlight caressing my face.
in the wind blowing through my hair.
in the riot of colours around me.
in my laughter. about nothing.
is in the cold weather sending tingles, head to toe.

Tis in the feeling of eternal hope.
This urgency to keep moving.
This music in my ears. In my heart.
The tunes playing everywhere.
Tis in everybody's face I see.

It's in the strength to overcome pain.
In this feeling of feeling beautiful.
It lies in the ability to play with words.
And convert abstract to concrete.
This power to see potential in everyone.
This patience and tolerance.
In the special way to bring a smile
on anyone's face.
It is in rejoicing in another's joys.
in this feeling of generosity
and a huge heart.

All this feeling of immense joy
lies after all,
All in Me.
And that's happiness.
Me.

Positive

A positive child
That isn't a good thing.
He is dying.
At a tender age.
She is being killed every moment.
Will i be with her?
Yes.
Will i touch him?
Yes.
Will i hold her hand?
Yes.
Will i carry him?
of Course!
Will i plant a kiss on her cheeks?
YES!

Of course, I'll eat with him!
Why dont you join me?
The food's safe. And he's harmless.
She's an angel.
What's the worst that can happen?
You'll fall in love with a child.
You'll get addicted to her smile.
His laughter. Their innocence.
Her zest for life. His mischief.
Your heart will melt.
You'll smile. You'll care.
You'll be angry at the world.
For rejecting them
for no fault of their own
You'll fight for something great.
Greater than yourself. Sublime.
For life.
That's not so bad now, is it?

What are you afraid of?
That you'll die?
We all have to one day.
Why not by giving a moment of joy?
to these cherubs.
To whom injustice is served each day.
By giving these souls some love.
That will last them their entire life.
(As if, 'entire' is so long!)

Have a heart.
Use your so called brilliant mind.
Get over your irrational fears.
Be human.
Prove that it is man-kind.
and not man-cruel.


(This was meant for World AIDS day. For all the people who are truly positive. For all those children who have been abandoned by their "own" and then given a new life by wonderful people. It is for all those people who are wonderful at heart.True unrecognized heroes.)

Multiple Personality Order

Such craziness and complexity
anger, sorrow and frustration.
Pressure building up,
leaking through in form of tears
control mechanisms setting in
to block the pressure release.

A schizophrenic-like syndrome
working itself out.
Enter Emotional Crazy Me
who is the main protagonist
awakening the dormant volcano inside.
She wants to enjoy, love, have fun.
But feels guilty, responsible,
angry and irritated..
Constantly fighting with the world
and its injustice
Detests the charade she has to play
Highest intolerance for heartlessness
Insatiable love for humanity, life and nature.
Constantly battling inside.
Bullets, tankers, missiles and bombs
All flying in different directions.
driving her to a breakdown.

Enter Rational Me.
The side who debates with E.C. Me.
counter argues and tries to appease her.
Calm her down but to no avail.
Only serves to irritate E.C. more.
She is the sensible, always calm,
justifying side.
She'll also soon go away
after her attempts
drown in E.C's emotions.

In comes Numb Me.
who is impacted neither by
Emotion nor rationality.
She is the antidote to E.C.
the true cure for the pressure.
She controls E.C. Calms her.
But she feels that
soon E.C. will overpower her.
as E.C is gaining strength, day-by-day.
And one day
she will burst upon the world
and none'll be able to stop her.
But for now,
Numbness has reigned her in.

E.C. is letting in Charade Me.
She is Numb's best friend!
They get along great.
Charade finds Rational boring.
Life's a party for charade.
where you might as well dance
while you are there.
She is always having fun
and is thoroughly carefree.
She is E.C's main competition
in dominating my personality.
She helps E.C socialize
in this world from where
she(E.C.) wants to flee.
She recharges E.C's batteries.

Now grand entrance of the second heroine.
Balanced Me.
She's a trapeze artiste.
Holds a delicate balancebetween frivolity and
the right amount of emotion.
She is one who is
at peace with her outrage.
She channelizes.
She appears calm and unruffled
on the surface.
But beneath it,
she's paddling vigorously
stirring storms. Coming alive.
Tearing them apart.
She is the calm before the storm.
And the after too.

Nobody knows her inside out.
Nobody ever will.
Dont come too close.
Or she'll go.
She's got her indignations
but she is pure in her thoughts.
She is working things out
you'll never comprehend.
And the comedy is,
neither does she!

Thus this chaos within
triggered by the smallest things
brings out the most
creativity and order.
That is the beauty
of this anarchy.


*sigh*

Yearning to cuddle.
To lie in a soft bed.
Him against the pillows.
My head against his shoulders.
Ears listening to his hearbeat.
His arms wrapped around me
and fingers occasionally
playing with my hair.
My arms holding his body.
oh so divine.

Feeling the contours of our bodies.
Feeling each others' warmth
coming together in between.
Feeling him breathe on me
as he kisses my forehead
so very tenderly, lovingly.
I close my eyes in satisfaction.
a smile spreads across my face
as his kiss lingers on for a while.

I take in the scent of his body.
Wishing to freeze time.
only him and me existing.
time, space, life ceasing to function.
Where the only sounds are
his breathing, heartbeat and kiss.
Music is him saying,
"i love you"
Winter is when
he moves his arms away.
Summer is when
he brings them closer.

As I soak in the moment
to a place
which never seems to fill,
I yearn for more.
and only more.

Falling Forever

Sitting in the classroom
constantly glancing at the clock
avoiding the professor and his
monotonous bashing on my ears.
My mind moves to its happy place
Where you play a very prominent role.

As the clock nears break time
My heart tempo increases
It's nearing the time when
I might catch a glimpse of you
exchange pleasantries
Imprint your smile and
the twinkle in your eyes,
yet again, in my mind.
So I may replay it
over and over.
To get through the next monotone.
Through to the end of the day
when I can leisurely
Admire you to my heart's content.

When we bid farewell for the day
I wonder if tomorrow
will be different.
Will you say anything more?
Will I pluck enough courage
To tell you my realizations?
That I'm falling for you.
And very fast.
Somebody very wisely said
Happiness lies in the pursuit
Not in the achievement.
But what if this pursuit
led to no achievement?
I fear we'll lose
What little we have
that I hold very dear.
I'm afraid of what
You'll have to say.

So I guess...
I'm falling forever.
Unless of course,
You stop by. To catch me.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

To Be. Out there.

Sitting in the library.
where there are silent screams,
voices of thousands of ideas,
thoughts, efforts, philosophies.
I am caught spiralling within,
in the tornado inside me.
That even as I write and think
there is much happening out there
that I want to be a part of.

Doesn't it amaze anyone enough?
The cunning plan to outdo a system,
of inequity, injustice and exploitation,
taking shape, around
fires within and without,
in the jungles somewhere.
Right this instant. This second.

People moving around,
renouncing the high pleasures of life,
in this opulence of today,
telling people the reality
Empowering them and
fighting for their lives.
Right now.

People running for their lives
from bombs, bullets, missiles
and people.
Animals struggling for survival
as we encroach on their homes
and kill them when they enter ours
having been rendered homeless.
People dying
trying to save these co-inhabitants.
People dying (rather killed)
trying to set a new social order
by fighting political goons, social autocrats
and economic tyrants.
Every minute. Every moment.

People so high on themselves
and their puny lives,
that they don't get off
their high horses
to see reality
from a worm's eye view.

Students.
Some religiously learning.
Some dreaming of a future
when they are done studying.
Not knowing we will be
a student, for always.
Teachers burying us in assignments,
tests and examinations,
so reality and time flying by
don't hit us and create an urgency
to quit and begin doing.

Parents going about their duties
in hopes of a better future
for their children.
worrying every minute
they are apart.
and yet others, unknowingly
and knowingly,
ruining lives of their innocent.

People living in the past
oblivious of the present
and their potential
to make it magnificent.Now.
People living in the future
and doing nothing
to reach the dream destination. Now.

Couples floating
on the clouds of love.
The power and energy
of the flame.
Their adoring consummation
complementing very life itself.

Persons waiting for love
to hit them like a thousand boulders,
so they get a better life,
miss out on it
when it silently creeps
through the cracks
when they're least expecting it.
In a wink.

Now sitting in classroom.
listening to the droning of an old man.
Transported by music
through a plethora
of emotions and phenomena.
Considering the power of music.
Someone creating it right now.
A verse. A melody.
A statue. A necklace.
An act of love.
Tears and laughter.
Joy and sorrow.
War and Peace.
All in this passing second.

Realisation of life out there.
Happening. Beating.Thomping.
Pulsating.Vibrating. Oscillating.
And the yearning begins.
as powerful as ever.
to take it all in.
To Be.
Done with imagining.
I want, now,
To Be.
Out There.